A Visit to Brokenstar's Mind
by Lakeshadow
Summary: A one-shot story about Brokenstar when he was first Brokentail - killing his father and receiving his nine lives. Rated T just because I'm not sure what to rate it - the only violent part is the beginning.


"You'll never be a leader again." The dark tabby circled his father slowly, biding his time. "It was me who cost you your second-to-last life, and me who will get you this time, Raggedstar."

"Why, Brokentail?" Raggedstar had given his looks to his son. Now his fur was puffed up in fear. "What did I ever do to you?"

"You were weak, and you tried to make me weak," Brokentail snarled. "Now ShadowClan will have a _strong_ leader again, and we will rule the forest – without you!" He leaped at last, biting his leader's throat without mercy. Blood poured from the wound, and he laughed viciously.

--

Brokentail dragged his father's body back to camp. Blackfoot, on sentry duty at the entrance, jumped to his jet-black paws when he saw them coming. "What happened!" he shouted, running to them.

The tom dropped Raggedstar's scruff and panted, "ThunderClan ambush. I tried to stop them, but I was too late."

"No!" The white tom raised his muzzle to the sky and let out a yowl of anguish.

"Bring him in," Brokentail ordered, trotting past him into camp. He jumped onto the Highbranch and yowled, "Cats of ShadowClan, gather to the Highbranch! I have terrible news!" Blackfoot gingerly dragged Raggedstar's body to the center of the clearing as cats emerged from dens all around it.

"Raggedstar!" A dark gray she-cat pelted out of the medicine cat's den to the dead leader's side. "No! It can't be!" She looked up at Brokentail, her eyes clearly showing her heartbreak.

"ShadowClan, I must share horrible news with you tonight," Brokentail mewed softly. "Raggedstar was killed by a ThunderClan ambush. I arrived too late to save him." He bowed his head as wails of grief came from every cat in the clearing.

"Tomorrow I will travel to the Moonstone to receive my nine lives, and replace my father as leader," Brokentail mewed after a moment. "But tonight we will mourn him. First, though, I will announce my deputy, as is the custom." Everyone looked up expectantly. "It was an obvious choice for me. My chosen deputy is strong and fierce, and will lead you well. Blackfoot will be the new deputy of ShadowClan!" He said it with enthusiasm, but few cats cheered.

Blackfoot stood up. "Thank you, Brokentail," he mewed quietly. "I'll do my best for ShadowClan."

Brokentail jumped down from the Highbranch and beckoned to his new deputy with his tail. Blackfoot followed him a little ways out of camp. "What is it, Brokentail?" he asked, his tail drooping. "I'm glad to be your deputy, but…" Words failed him as he looked to the ground in sorrow.

"Before he died, Raggedstar gave me his last wish," the tabby mewed. Blackfoot's eyes lit up.

"What? I'll do it. I'll do anything."

"He wished for ShadowClan to rule the forest," Brokentail whispered. Amber eyes met green eyes, and Blackfoot swallowed hard.

"Then let's do it."

--

The next night, Brokentail and Yellowfang traveled together to the Moonstone. For the majority of the journey, both were silent; Brokentail planning, Yellowfang mourning.

Finally Yellowfang broke the silence. "What will you do as leader, Brokentail?" she asked.

"I will make ShadowClan the greatest Clan in the forest," he replied without hesitation. Yellowfang didn't reply, but she gazed at him with something akin to admiration.

When they reached Mothermouth, Yellowfang spoke again. "You must not speak again until you leave Highstones," she mewed. "When you get to the Moonstone, touch your nose to it, and wait. StarClan will come to you and give you your nine lives." She faltered, and then said, "Good luck."

"Thank you." Brokentail's voice was quiet, but he entered Mothermouth without fear. Yellowfang followed behind him.

The Moonstone shone with the light from the moon. Brokentail went to it and lay down, pressing his nose to the cold rock and closing his eyes.

_He opened his eyes, to see that he was in a clearing. Starry-furred cats were approaching him, to surround him on all sides. With a start he recognized a few: Foxheart, his mother; Lizardstripe, the queen who had nursed him; Bristlepaw, his best friend as an apprentice, who had died of greencough._

_Brokentail looked around, and realized that this was Fourtrees as it must have been in ages past. Cats from all the Clans were there; he recognized the different scents, but primary above them all was a scent that he couldn't place. He supposed it was the distinctive scent of the warriors of the stars._

_"Welcome, Brokentail." The voice came from all around him; it seemed that all the cats at once were speaking. "Are you ready to receive your nine lives?"_

_Confidently, Brokentail mewed, "I am."_

_Bristlepaw moved forward, but before he stepped twice, a pitch black she-cat bounded forward. "Wait!" she called. "Wait!" The cats murmured amongst themselves, but only one other stepped out of the ring of cats._

_"What is it, Shadowstar?" It was a huge tabby tom, his pelt tattered. He spoke with respect, but there was an undertone of anger in his voice. Brokentail recognized that voice. He knew it was his father._

_"This cat killed you, Raggedstar!" Shadowstar mewed angrily. Brokentail reached back into his memory, trying to remember… who was Shadowstar? "Why are you defending him?"_

_"He killed me because I was weak, and I was," Raggedstar replied calmly. "He will make ShadowClan great."_

_Shadowstar. Shadowstar. Oh… the first ShadowClan leader! Now he remembered! How could he have forgotten? She glanced at him and smiled crookedly, as though she could hear his thoughts._

_"He has lied to his Clan already," she protested. Her brilliant green eyes pierced into Raggedstar's amber ones, so like Brokentail's own._

_"I lied because I had to." Brokentail spoke as loudly as he dared. "If I had told the Clan that I killed Raggedstar, they never would have accepted me as leader."_

_"But there was no need to kill your own father!" Shadowstar whirled to face him. "You could have made ShadowClan great together!"_

_"I'm sorry," Brokentail mewed, looking down. "I thought only of my Clan, even before my own family." As he lied through his teeth, he hoped fervently that StarClan cats couldn't really read his mind._

_"I vouch for him," Raggedstar said calmly. "That should settle the issue, Shadowstar."_

_She backed into the ring of cats once more, still glaring at Brokentail. "As you say, Raggedstar. I will trust you."_

_Bristlepaw glanced at Raggedstar, who nodded. Slowly the burly apprentice moved forward, his light tabby coat glistening with starlight. He touched his nose to Brokentail's. "With this life I give you steadfastness," he mewed solemnly. "Use it well as you lead ShadowClan to greatness." _

_A calming energy ran through Brokentail to his very bones. He felt confident and unwavering. Before Bristlepaw padded away, he felt the emotional pain of death, and with a pang he remembered that he had died the day before he was to be made a warrior. He shivered. He never wanted to feel death._

_Another cat stirred the ranks of StarClan as Bristlepaw returned to his place. He recognized her as she walked towards him, her silver fur glittering. "Moonrise," he breathed._

_She purred as she reached him, pressing her nose to his and taking his breath away. Here was his first and only love. His hate for ThunderClan had begun when she was killed by a real ThunderClan patrol, when she accidentally trespassed onto their territory. "With this life I give you justice," she told him softly. "Use it well, and never forget."_

_An agonizing jolt of energy went through him, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from yowling with pain. He knew he was feeling what she had felt at her death; shock, hatred, fear, and finally a rush of blood. He drank it in regardless, and licked her nose before she walked away._

_The next to come was Foxheart, his mother. He had never been close to her, as she had refused to nurse him at his birth, but she shone with pride and, oddly, secrecy as she came to stand before him. She touched her nose gently to his. "With this life I give you discretion. Use it well as you become a leader the likes of which the forest has never seen."_

_This life was short and fierce. He felt high and respected, but at the same time, there was a strange undertone of proud lies. There wasn't time to understand it before it ended, and Foxheart was already gone._

_Shaking his head to clear it, Brokentail looked up, to see an unfamiliar cat approaching him. He was a small tom, not much larger than a kit, his sleek dark pelt shimmering, as every cat's, with stars and fire. "You probably don't remember me," he mewed quietly. "I'm Darkkit – your brother."_

_Brother? Brokentail's eyes widened in shock. He hadn't known he had a brother. Darkkit reached him and pressed his small nose to Brokentail's. "With this life I give you brotherhood. Use it well and remember that your Clanmates are your family." _

_This was a life full of longing. He saw himself through Darkkit's eyes, watching himself as he grew up from a kit to an apprentice under Raggedstar to a warrior, then deputy, and now leader. His chest filled with pride, but he also had a sense of love and understanding. It felt – strange to have those feelings again._

_He nodded to his brother, and Darkkit gravely nodded back before he retreated into the ranks of StarClan once more. That was four lives, Brokentail thought. Who would give him the next five?_

_Once again there was a kit padding out of the crowd. Another brother? A sister? How could he have these siblings he didn't know he had? "I am Mudkit, your sister," the tiny she-cat mewed. Her pelt was brown and long. "I never saw the living world, but you did." She strained upwards, and Brokentail leaned down to touch his nose to hers. "With this life I give you mentoring," she mewed, her squeaky voice grave. "Use it well, to make ShadowClan the greatest Clan!"_

_This life was similar to the last, filled with longing and passion. He was a kit again, looking up at his mother. Then he looked around, and saw two kits on the ground next to him, dead. Mudkit and Darkkit, he realized suddenly. They died at birth…_

_Now Shadowstar was coming towards him. Her eyes glinted with distrust as she pressed her nose to his. "With this life I give you caution," she mewed, her voice smooth but deadly. "Use it well to make your Clan great."_

_He didn't know what to expect from this unknown she-cat. What he got was beyond expectation. There was disbelief and anger and sudden pain, pain that went on and on, piercing him like a thorn in his side for what seemed like endless moons… He was dazed when it stopped, and he stood there breathless, looking up at Shadowstar with wide eyes._

_"Remember," she warned him before she walked away._

_He panted as he waited for the next life-giver. He didn't have long to wait; soon a pure white tom emerged from the ranks. "Cloudpelt!" he exclaimed softly. It was the former deputy of ShadowClan._

_Cloudpelt nodded respectfully and touched his nose to Brokentail's. "With this life I give you courage. Use it well as you lead your Clan." This life was a rush of energy and confidence, making Brokentail feel cowed and honored at once._

_The deputy padded away, and was replaced by Lizardstripe. He could see that her personality hadn't changed; she purred with satisfaction as she came near him. "You fulfilled your promise," she meowed with great pride. "It was me who nursed you, and now I give you life again!" She touched her nose to his. "With this life I give you ambition. Use it well as you lead your Clan to absolute victory!" _

_He saw rather than felt the way he had looked as a tiny kit, brought to Lizardstripe without explanation. Raggedstar looked menacing, but Lizardstripe jested with him and finally agreed to nurse him… Didn't she do it out of love for the innocent kit? Brokentail was shocked._

_Now he looked up expectantly as his father approached him. "Congratulations, my son," Raggedstar mewed, his voice like a lion's. "I always knew you were destined to lead." He pressed his nose to Brokentail's and meowed, "With this life I give you energy and certainty and strength. Use it well to lead ShadowClan into its greatest period in history!"_

_He felt Raggedstar's whole life run through his body. A kit, then a fighting apprentice, then a warrior in love, then deputy, then leader, and then killed by his own son. Brokentail's throat felt as though it had been bitten through and he winced, letting out a hiss of pain._

_The cats rose all around him, and Raggedstar motioned for him to stand as well. "I hail you by your new name, Brokenstar," Raggedstar announced. "Your old life is no more. You have now received the nine lives of a leader, and StarClan grants to you the guardianship of ShadowClan. Defend it well; care for the young and old; honor your ancestors and the traditions of the warrior code; live each life with pride and dignity." He said the traditional words, but there was a touch of irony in the sound of his voice. Doesn't he believe it? Brokenstar wondered. But he had no time to think as cheers rang out from all sides._

_"Brokenstar! Brokenstar!" It was like thunder, the noise echoing off the trees. He closed his eyes with contentment; he had finally accomplished his goal…_


End file.
